just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
