watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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