We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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