go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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