I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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