FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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