Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
