we have officially lost it.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
