I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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