perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
