May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
