Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My legs feel like baby dolphins
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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