I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
