Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
