Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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