just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize