You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
