I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
