i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
