Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
