apparently the secret to your success is patron
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
