I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
