I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
