Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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