is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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