How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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