no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
