we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
