the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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