is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
