Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
