Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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