so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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