I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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