i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
