I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
