I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
