She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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