hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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