i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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