i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
