Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
