I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
