Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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