i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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