I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize