He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
