i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
