This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
