Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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