So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
