im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize