his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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