i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize