I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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