weddingsv make me drug and hornr
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
