My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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