she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
