Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Randomize
