If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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