Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize