wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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