There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
