There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
