she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
this hospital has no fireball
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
