Im at strip club and am horny
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You may now shotgun with the bride
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
