I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
where am i from again
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize