Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
