We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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