Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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